Friday, December 14, 2012
Dating and sex in a real world
My husband of almost 14 years, and I met online. We met in 1998 when chat rooms were the popular thing, before social media took hold.
Can online meetings work? I'm a firm believer it can and does and it has been working for us for 15 of those 14 years of marriage. We've been together for 15 years and it just gets better each year. How do we do it?
We were in out late 40's and I know young people like to think all this dating stuff is only for those under 30, but they are not correct. Dating, love and romance is for everyone.
One thing I have noticed with some people is that either they keep 'dating' online for too long, or are disappointed when the do meet the real person they have been talking to.
First off, it's best to meet as soon as possible.........this dispels any illusions either person may have conjured up in their heads. Meet in the safest places possible of course, don't be foolish about safety..ever.
Another thing too many people experience, both male and female, is they are hung up on looks, how is that person dressed, how do they wear their hair, etc. Now of course, we all want someone who does not look like a train wreck and we want someone who bathes and wears clean clothes. That aside, it's just high school and too superficial to be too hung up on looks.
Some of the best and long lasting relationships come about for two people or at least one person, who thinks 'this person isn't my type.' Get over it! We don't always know just what our 'type' is until we have given a person a chance.
I didn't really know my type either until I met him and I didn't fall instantly in love, not as we know it from reading too many romance novels anyway, but we became friends first and that is a good sign. We all need a partner we can talk to as a friend as well as a mate.
Now the subject of sex, well only you can decide when you want to do that. But those of us over 40 pretty much know who we are and I say trust your instincts, your gut feelings.
Do you have any experiences with online dating as a person over 40?