Thursday, April 18, 2013

About being self-sufficient

With Earth Day and all, I was browsing Facebook sites like: Mother Earth News and many DIY sites.  It's nice to know I have a good friend, Suzanne, who, like me, loves to garden and is pretty good at it.  I have a husband who loves to garden and is quite good at it.  I once lived in a log home on 4 1/2 acres of land and that is where I learned to garden.

We had all those acres of mostly clay.  But I learned to raise chickens, milk goats and rabbits so I had plenty of organic fertilizer.  I also learned when it comes to compost and animal fertilizer, one can never have enough.  But eventually, with the help of raised beds, I turned that clay into very nice soil that would grow nearly anything from 

But I think about the younger generation.  They move to the cities for jobs and if the economy ever gets very bad, well, those super markets will run out of food in probably 24 hours.  They can grow rooftop gardens and patio gardens, but I often wonder how many actually do that.  

Growing up, we lived on five acres and quite a bit of that land was a huge garden.  My dad grew every vegetable we ever needed.  Mom never bought vegetables, she canned and froze everything we needed for winter months too.  That little farm was where I learned to drive a standard shift too.  By the time I was twelve, I was driving that tractor down those rows of food and soaking up sunshine.

My Mom told stories of how she would make 21 loaves of bread a week, to feed a bunch of growing kids.  She said that, in those days, if a bride bought bread the rumors flew about: "Poor thing, she cannot cook."  It was essential to know how to sew on a treadle sewing machine, using nothing more than skill and physical labor.  We also used, every Monday, a wringer washing machine, requiring more labor, filling rinse tubs by hand and filling the washer by hand.  Then we would hang it all outdoors on the line.  I feel sorry for the kids who don't grow up with that wash day smell.  I still recall it, a mixture of bleach, laundry soap and sunshine, glorious sunshine.  Nothing feels, or smells, nicer than snuggling into sheets hung on a line, freshness never smelled so good.

I feel sorry for the kids who have never experienced pickling day.  Walking into the house, smelling dill, vinegar and fresh cucumbers. 

Do I think everyone should live like that?  No, our days are much busier, maybe, although there were the same hours in a day then as there is now.  But I do think everyone should know these skills, just in case.  Some skills are invaluable and might make the difference between going hungry and being able to eat.  There isn't anything quite as satisfying as knowing how to feed yourself if you need to know how.

Well, thanks for stopping in again.  Have another cup of coffee and some homemade muffins. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Sit down have coffee just talkin

Sit down, let me pour you some coffee, let's chat, let's get to know each other.

I really like the picture I posted today.  Back before the age of the 'disposable spouse' when couples didn't split at the slightest thing or setback.  

I grew up in a time when my mom was home after school, when you knew someone was there to ask 'how was your day?'  Now I know in this modern era, in order to just place food on the table, mom probably has to work.  A shame, really, but then it is a shame when being a mom pays no retirement benefits either.  Sux all around.  But, hey, parents do what they can.

The Internet is all buzzing about the Boston Marathon bombing.  Hell, it's gotten so I'm leery to shop the malls anymore.  I do make it a point to not go there during the Christmas rush.  Probably just as well, the mall only brings out every materialistic bone in my body anyway.  Best not to be tempted by all that glitter and glitz.  But, the bombing.  For many years other countries have lived with this kind of thing.  I suppose Americans sat all smug feeling it never happens to us.  I think all that has changed now though.  We now see and feel, how the 'other half lives.'

Americans always felt American middle class would always be safe too,  So much has changed in recent years.  So many things we always felt were the other person's problem.  Well, here those problems are.  At our own door step. 

Well thanks for stopping by.  Here have another cup of coffee before you go. 

Can you believe how much this liquid costs now at Starbucks?  

Monday, April 15, 2013

Just talkin

Posting a story that, I thought was good, what in hell do I know, I ask myself since then. 

 So never knowing what anyone wants to read at this point, I am just going to ramble, to talk, like you are at my table having coffee with me.

I am cheeky enough today to post my funky pictures I created from a cool program on the Internet.  No frills, no catchy famous people.

Recently I visited my brother, whom I hadn't seen in about 27 years.  Long time between visits you could say.  Go ahead, say it. 

 We had a very nice visit and I was chatting often with my niece before the visit.  Now it amazes me when people send "Friend request" on Facebook.  You accept the request, then, pow! They hardly ever talk to you anymore. Conversations with my niece pretty much stopped after the visit.  My perfume, soap, deoderant?   OK

Recently a person whom I grew up with and once was a close friend to, her husband died.  I knew he had been sick and we are 'friends' on FB too. Well no one answered my inquiries about how he was doing, next thing I know he passed away.  OK

I never know what makes people annoyed so if I have offended anyone, I was not aware of it.

Why did my family (brothers and sisters) drift apart in the first place?  Well I got divorced and I imagine those, friends and family, who have good marriages, just steer clear of those divorced people.  I spent my divorced years on my own, except for one friend I made when single.  She helped me a lot, she too was a single mom and so she didn't worry that divorce or singleness might rub off on her I guess.

Sit down, have some coffee

I didn't see 'family' the entire time I was divorced, struggling and living alone, but I don't hold a grudge.  They have lives and were very busy I'm sure.  So along comes FB and if I am not acknowledging some life changes, I guess I have offended though I didn't mean to.  I never know what to say to people in crisis.  Nothing is going to make their crisis go away so I am not always sure what the right words are.  Not a judgement call, simply my observation.  

Just talkin about every day things in life. 

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Unpacking the dishes 3

I froze in the middle of my unpacking, still clutching 

the high ball glass in one hand and the packing paper 

in the other. 

His voice was as smooth as glass against silk.  

Like no voice I'd ever heard before. I couldn't believe 

my eyes. 

When I saw his face, I was astonished.This guy looked 

so much like my first love, the guy I'd 

fallen for in college.  The guy I lost my virginity to. 

We never worked out, after graduation he went off to 

a foreign country to help teach and I never heard from 

him again.  

For years I carried a torch for him though.  I never 

really got over him or my broken heart.

"I hope my being shirtless isn't offending you, but I 

figured with the humidity and all and I guess I didn't 

think anyone would be home.  I'm glad you are though, it makes it easier for me to find the unit that needs fixing."

Still staring I did manage to find my voice.

"That's quite alright, I was just daydreaming while unpacking and I didn't hear you come in.  I'm fine.  Let me show you where the unit is.  Follow me please."

Brushing by him, I couldn't help but notice his smell.

He smelled like fresh air, sunshine and the salty water of the beach on a windy day, all rolled into one. His smell was very sensual to me, quite intoxicating, actually. 

As he followed me, I was keenly aware of his presence 

behind me.  

When we got to the cooling unit, I stopped, he was walking fast to keep up with me and he nearly ran into my back. His slight brush behind me from the near collision of our bodies made my skin tingle.  I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. 

Suddenly, it wasn't too hot at all, I felt chills going up my spine.  His smell was stronger now, that smell, it was like a drug and beginning to make me feel heady.

I turned around, looked at him and he seemed to be incredibly calm.  Much calmer than me anyway.  I spoke quickly before he noticed the affect his presence was having on me. 

"Here it is, I hope it's not too far gone."His attention turned to the unit for a moment.

  "I'll do the best I can to get it going for you."

He smiled, flashing big, beautiful, perfect, white teeth 

and even his smile was beginning to make my legs feel 

like rubber.

For a split second, I noticed his gaze slipped to my nipples and I suddenly realized I had no bra on.

I had simply thrown on a halter top and short, shorts 

after my shower because of the sultry heat.

I felt a bit uneasy and flattered at the same time 

because he was noticing my breasts.




Saturday, April 13, 2013

Unpacking the dishes 2

I looked at the clock, one of the items I made sure I put up right away.  I can't stand not knowing the time even if I have nowhere to be, I just need to know.  The clock said it was noon.  No wonder my stomach was growling.  I decided to fix a sandwich and some coffee.  Taking my lunch outside, I couldn't help but take in the view.  So pretty, rolling waves on the lake, no neighbors on top of us and there was a gentle breeze blowing.

I'd been unpacking all morning so feeling sweaty and grimy, I decided to take a quick shower and cool off a bit.  There they were, my towels, then my shower gel, blow dryer and body spray.  Everything I needed.  The hot water rolling over me helped to relieve the tension in my shoulders and my mood.  It felt wonderful, almost making me want to take a nap.  But I have more items to put away so I dry myself off and look for something to wear.  I choose a pair of short cut off jeans and a halter top.  Just cool enough for the warm weather and cool enough to make me not sweat so profusely while I unpack boxes.

On my way back to the living room, I grabbed a hair pull out of my cut off jean shorts.  I looked into the full length mirror and it occurred to me that I may have just cut the jeans a tad too short.  I could almost see my crotch area, but I shrugged thinking I had no one to impress and being home alone, with Mike on a business trip, I continued to pull my hair on top of my head.  The hair was damp from the humidity and a lot of my curls were laying in little, damp ringlets at the back of my neck and forehead.

I  took a long look at the vast array of boxes in the living room and dining area and wondered just how I'd ever get them all unpacked and put away.  Well, I thought to myself, stop wasting time, those boxes won't put themselves away.  Where in hell is that damned air conditioning guy?  I was growing more impatient by the hour.  I figured he's probably some old guy, a fat old guy, slow, probably one of those guys who's ass crack showed each time he bent over to fix anything.  I groaned inside at the thought and giggled a little to myself imagining that ass crack vision.  Never the less, I just hope Old Fart knows his stuff and that Mike has left him some detailed instructions.  I hate being the sole one at home when man chores crop up because I don't know the first thing about them.Getting back to unpacking I found myself engrossed in unwrapping each piece of glassware when, suddenly ,what in hell?"

Excuse me lady, I didn't mean to scare you but I 
I stood up quickly, and what I saw left me stunned

knocked and I guess you didn't hear me so I took the liberty of letting myself in.

Shirtless, muscles rippling and a six pack that I'd only seen in body building magazines was here, in the flesh.  Holy shit!

"I will get to work as soon as you show me where the unit is located."

I must have obviously been staring a him because he almost looked uncomfortable under my gaze. 


Unpacking the dishes

I stopped unpacking the dishes for a moment and looked around the kitchen, my kitchen, I still couldn't believe it.  Mike had finally purchased us a house of our own, he made good on his promise to me.  It wasn't that I didn't believe he would, but I think this house is a way of making things up to me. 

 The previous relationship I had before meeting Mike, left me not really sure I could ever trust men again. 

But we just aren't as intimate these days as we were 12 years ago when we first met.  I convinced myself that I didn't miss the sex so awfully much.  Mike is attentive, sweet and tells me he loves me every day we are together, but he just has no interest in sex anymore.  I have my battery operated friend but somehow it's not the same as a warm, erotic touch from a man. 

 I know I'm 35 and he's 60, but no one told me sex drive wanes when guys get older. I couldn't help but laugh out loud about his chosen profession, especially given his disinterest in sex these days.  He's half owner of an erotic film making company. 

Mike is the Midwest Porn King, or so the big newspapers and the television news have called him. 

How ironic. The very thing he's not interested in in his real life, has made him rich in the fantasy world

Looking around, I couldn't help thinking how, just a few years ago, we'd be making love on the big counter in this kitchen.The thought of that made me feel a bit sad.  I love Mike, but without sex, well, it's just been a long time since I have felt sexy, wanted, sensual or very pretty.  I also felt a bit guilty for thinking like this. Mike is away on a business trip for two weeks, so I'm left here, alone, to put away most of our things that the movers just dropped off for us. 

I didn't mind, this big house will become a bed and breakfast once we are settled in.  Mike figured it would be a nice business for me, maybe a distraction to keep me busy and my mind off the reality of our marriage.  I decided to stop for a moment and look around the house.  It's a beautiful house, but a few things do need fixing.  Mike likes to fix stuff at home, but right now, he is away because he has to make sure the business is running smoothly.

 I have always wanted a big, beautiful house, but not a mansion,, I didn't want it to be vulgar. It's the kind of house where I can do my own housework and be the domestic goddess' I always wanted to be.  This one is great and we plan to expand it a little more. 

Mike had wanted to build one on the ocean, but I was worried about hurricanes, so we compromised and decided on a nice, secluded old Victorian on the great lake in Ohio.  

I wandered towards the dining area of the house to look out the patio doors at the back, the lake was stunningly lovely today, but inside was hot, sultry, the kind of day where the humidity was thick and you worked up a sweat walking across the room.  Mike had promised me a pool but right now, at this moment, I'll just be happy to have the central air fixed.