Sunday, August 25, 2013

Boys and playing with dolls

I remember an 'incident' with my now ex-husband, when my oldest son was playing 'tea party' with his sister and feeding her dolls with a bottle.  The (stupid man ex) barged in and had a fit, trying to tell me that 'boys need trucks and GI Joes' (which BTW looked like dolls to me) because boys need to grow up to be men.  Gawd........Not like my ex I hope, no one likes those men.

Another 'incident' involved playing with and baking in, an Easy Bake Oven.  Again, geesh, boys aren't supposed to use those.  Well they can use them, the same as an adult male who is not threatened by 'women's chores, can use a real oven.  Try it guys!  The stove has no built in gizmo, like a James Bond movie, where if the man touches the stove, he is zapped, and electrocuted.  No, seriously, he's not.  Dishwater is not kryptonite to a man's species either.

Where's the little boy in this picture?

As a child I loved climbing trees, I rode a boy's blue bike (the only one my parents could find at a household auction) I played in the dirt for hours with trucks.  I had toy cap guns, I played cowboys and rode a wooden, stick horse with a black cloth head and a yellow mane.  I didn't grow up to be a serial killer, an axe- murderer, bank robber nor hate peace.  In fact, I am and have always been a peace loving person.

Doesn't this picture look all too familiar?

If boys can't play tea party, cook in Easy Bake Ovens or feed dolls with a bottle, how in hell are they supposed to grow up to be decent men, dads or partners in any relationships or have respect for all of humanity?  

A few years ago, a dish washing detergent ran commercials showing a man doing dishes and men in America threw a hissy fit.  I guess the 'dish washing elf' does a single man's dishes?  Where in hell is that elf when I need it?  Another ad, ran by a car company, showed women on a balcony watching a guy getting out of a sports car.  The conversation was: "Nice car, I wonder what he's compensating for?"  Sexist?  Yes, but why it is acceptable to run sexist ads when women are the brunt of the joke?  Men don't get pissed then.

I sincerely hope parents are much more enlightened.  But then, I look at violent video games and wonder. 

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Divorce diaries

Should have been what many of us women did first, before marriage.

When a woman lives in a small town, with no women's shelters, she is basically on her own.  She has to stay with friends, hope Social Services puts you and your kids in a motel or sleep in her car, if she can even afford a car.  I know, first hand.  I went to Social Services once, the first time I had tried to leave, and this is what one of those workers said to me: "I'm so booked up right now.  Can't you just make up?  For a while?"  Now it's a statistical fact most abused women leave 5 times before staying away, or for good.  Can't imagine why in small towns.  I know those workers hope we all leave their jurisdiction, to save them paperwork.  One woman I met, later on, while working in a city that did have a shelter, fled with her small dog, to be told: "I'm sorry but we cannot let you have your dog."  Bull shit!  There is a loving connection with a pet, what in hell is wrong with agencies anyway?

Getting services is frustrating.

A woman has to go for services if she has no job at the time.  The abuser usually makes sure she has no decent job because he calls where she works, or she is emotionally distraught as to what is going at home, no social support, and isolated that she ends up losing her job. 

My two kids and I stayed with a friend for a while, but her husband was so abusive, that was a trauma by itself.  We stayed there because even though I found a nice apartment, Social Services refused to pay for it because the landlord didn't require a security deposit.  No safe haven because of some effed up rules.  

Then we found a HUD apartment and we had absolutely no furniture because we fled with the clothes on our backs.  But we were happier than in a household full of turmoil.  Social Services offered no help with furniture nor tells you they have a fund for any.

I know many people view women who go for services as lazy, incompetent, shiftless, bad mothers and so on so forth.  Not so.  If you have school aged kids, well you also have to 'look for a job' because Welfare to Work is supposed to help you be self-sufficient. But how is that?  You usually have to get a low paying job, crappy hours, no support especially after a while, for child care, no car and Still have to get food stamps and Medicare because the crappy job pays nothing, so you cannot afford rent and utilities and food.  You know what small towns offer for jobs?  Mostly the "Would you like fries with that?"  Kind of employment.

Over the edge yet?

The times I had called the police when the abuser was acting up, went like this:  once the cop sided with the ex saying: "I understand, my ex wife is a bitch too."  The abuser is not the bitch?  Then another cop tried to talk me out of having him arrested.  Explaining to me the abuser was just distraught and upset.  

Yes, he usually was distraught and upset over nothing.  What's new?  I am a firm believer that a Case Manager should go on Every domestic call simply for the woman to have someone to talk to, and to have moral support.

Like I always say: "Stop domestic violence" is nothing more than the slogan and the cause of the week once a year.

What have YOU done to help an abused woman get someplace safe?  

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Foodie break, meatloaf Wellington

Back to the very old cookbook I found, it resembles my Mom's book I grew up with.  

I love meatloaf, and I know in this modern era, we are not supposed to love red meat.  I confess, I do, and many times I use ground turkey, at least for 50% of it, but then, once in a while I just like the total red meat thing (sorry vegans and vegetarians everywhere), but I grew up in a household where my Dad loved meat for meals.

This recipe for Meatloaf Wellington is delicious and we loved it.  Easy to prepare and very elegant looking for a company dinner, or just a Sunday dinner.  You can impress in-laws with your cooking skills because it looks beautiful on the table.  The recipes from this book don't take a long time to prepare, so they are ideal for working people who want something on the table in no time, especially after a day of work.  

Meatloaf Wellington:

1 can (10 1/2 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom or golden mushroom soup

2 pounds of ground beef, or 1 pound beef and 1 pound ground turkey

1/2 cup of fine dry bread crumbs

1/3 cup finely chopped onion

1 egg, slightly beaten

1/3 cup of water

1 teaspoon salt (if desired)

1 package of refrigerated crescent rolls

Mix thoroughly 1/2 cup of soup, beef, bread crumbs, onion, egg and and salt.  Shape firmly into loaf (8 by 4  inches); place in shallow baking pan.  Bake for 1 hour at 375 degrees F.  Spoon off fat.  Separate one package of refrigerated crescent rolls; place crosswise over top and down sides of meatloaf, overlapping slightly.  Bake 15 minutes more.  

Great with a tossed salad, green beans or mashed potatoes.

I hope you enjoy this recipe. 

Bon Appetite! 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Divorce diaries or Phil isn't always right

Dr. Phil and his rescuing of relationships, isn't always right.  Sometimes you just have to ditch the guy, even after 16 years of marriage.

Marriage?  In my case, the term is used lightly, it was more like a living arrangement, no real companionship, no romance once he said 'I do' and marrying a Vietnam vet with PTSD turned out to be a total nightmare.  He wasn't going to change, but he sure tried to change me.  

When your SO tries to change you, in every way, you eventually get the point that maybe you are not meant to be with him after all.  Unfortunately it took me years to work up the courage to realize that and to finally leave.

Some vets with PTSD do not live in a world of reality.  I am sure my ex was suffering from a big dose of sociopath long before I met him, and being in the Army just made him worse.  

When dating, he appeared sweet, but I know now, all the red flags and signs that popped up in dating should have warned me.  I was young and too trusting to see them.

Anyway, this blog will talk about striking out on my own, scared, no real social support, but it happened and I survived it.  No, I wasn't fortunate enough to have money to travel as in Eat, Pray, Love............who in hell does?  Mine was more like Leave, Live, Survive.  I hope this blog helps others with or without a plan.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Why oh why?

I've always liked this cartoon, probably because it just kind of says it all about job dissatisfaction, especially these days.

The thing about getting older is that we have seen many changes over time.  I have to say, in the 21st century, societal changes have not been particularly great, especially the dismantling of the American economy and destruction of the middle class workers.

What I have seen and experienced:  In the 1970's some people were making $9.00 an forward to 2013 and the same $9.00 is touted as being wonderful, terrific, and isn't it great?  How in hell this number never changing in 40 years is a great thing, eludes me.

Having insurance that covered everything and still not costing a fortune.  On Facebook I just saw a picture of Ronald Reagan and people lauding his virtues, sayings like: "We sure do miss him."  Those make me puke.  Why?  Because those people don't bother to pay attention, read or worse yet, remember history and the fact Reagan is the reason we have horrible health insurance.

In the 1960's we had to bring in Civil Rights............Not so much because any president wanted to......but a generation of people interested in improving America........stood up and Demanded it.  If anyone these days thought of demanding anything............most worry about breaking a nail or worse yet, breaking a sweat.  Young people with loads of energy, and no civic mindedness, sit on electronic devices saying: "Someone should do something."  So Do It Already!!!!!!!!!

I used to see unions protecting workers, keeping employers from screwing them over and now I see workers running scared......afraid to say shit if they have a mouthful..........scared of losing their tacky little shitty, part time jobs..........they'd rather hang on by their fingernails instead of Really Living.   Scared they will have their jobs taken away....afraid their houses will be taken.afraid of losing their gas sucking cars and trucks............afraid their clothes will be taken.....their birthdays will be taken.......their first born will be taken.........their underwear will be taken.  So protest naked!

Companies used to provide health covered a multitude of things, including medications..........I've seen a government and a society say: "Pot is awful................but over priced prescription narcotics are wonderful."  Where's the logic in this?  Companies made a profit back then, yet paid some workers a decent wage and provided a retirement for some.  OK  I say some because most women didn't get a good wage............but kids did work McDonald's and Did Not have to make a career out of it later on as adults.  I do recall being asked at a job interview: "So how many kids do you have?"  This came on the heels of: "Are you married?"  "Do you have good child care so you can come to work?"   But then my answer was:  "Do you ask male applicants the same questions about child care?  Oh yes, they have the 'little woman' at home to depend on so men don't need to worry about such things."  That did shut them up.  I didn't always get the job, but who wants to work for that employer anyway?

We haven't come so far now either.  Women still do the Same work and get paid less.  Why is that?

Why do you workers put up with a CEO coming to your place of business saying: "No more than 35 (or less) hours, no benefits, you get wage freezes and no time off pay, no retirement."  Yet this Same CEO is making a 6 figure income at Your expense.

I guess I just need to know what in hell happened to a workforce that has decided to roll over, take it up the ass and then kiss the chains of their masters?

I suppose some will say I'm harsh and some will say I'm negative...............but have your opinions.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Foodies; recipes from an old cookbook

These colors, signs of the times, 1960's

I found a great cookbook at a rummage sale and I bought it because my Mom had this book, among many other cookbooks.  I grew up with some really cool recipe books and Mom loved to experiment with recipes.  Some turned out well and were a hit while some............Meh........take em or leave them.

Sounds like fun to me, Bobbie's pad?  Hmmmmmmmmm

Fondue is a Swiss, French and Italian dish.  It became quite popular in 1960 in America............fondue dinner parties sprung up all over the place, in homes and restaurants.  

This is an inexpensive fondue recipe, my husband does not like fondue but I do. (I do..........rhymes)

A little time travel.  Looks like Chelsea Clinton!

*Cheese Fondue*

1/2 cup of dry, white wine (starts out good already)
1 medium clove of garlic, minced (you can open fresh garlic easily by taking your cutting knife and smashing the clove on your chopping block underneath your knife)
4 slices of natural Swiss cheese, torn into pieces
2 tablespoons of flour
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) of Cheddar cheese soup

French or Italian bread cubes

In a saucepan or fondue pot, simmer wine and garlic.  Combine cheese and flour: gradually blend into wine.  Heat until cheese melts; stir now and then.  Blend in soup: heat, stirring until smooth.  Spear bread cubes with a fork, fondue fork or wooden skewer (toothpicks work too) dip cubes into fondue mix.  Makes 2 cups.

* You can also dip bite-size pieces of cooked franks, cocktail wieners, lobster, shrimp, or artichoke.

You can have a 'sip and dip' party.  Invite guests to sip and dip, serve wine, or beer and if you have a fireplace, this is a wonderful dish to serve in front of a crackling fire.

Come on, ya gotta love the hair!

OK  This can burn Real easy too, stir, stir, stir!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

License information is fun

Love this list!!!

So the youngest son decided to go for the driver's license.  I can understand his former many damned crazy drivers on the road.  Hell everyday someone pulls in front of us, weaves all over the road and uses their cell phones, illegally in NY I might add, and thus weaves all over the road because of it.

I moved to Indiana for 7 years but didn't renew my driver's license until I got back to NY.  I just didn't want to sit down and take a written test in Indiana.  My NY license was good for the full 7 years so I kept it.  Besides, the license branch in Lafayette, Indiana was a pure nightmare of wait, wait, wait and wait some more.

So I renewed the damned thing when I moved back here.  "Step up to the line for your picture."  Snap....."Do you like this one or want another one?"  Hell, what's the diff?  Another one looks just as bad only from a new angle.  "No, this one is fine." I tell her.

Well with all the spying on American citizens anymore, I guess there's not much the cops, the feds and maybe even my neighbors, can't find out about me.  Oh joy!

I love how the government wants to regulate vagina's but yet Weiner can send pictures of his dick to whomever and now run for NYC mayor.  Why is it men love sharing their wieners on Instagram and the like?  Sausages everywhere.  Well, I got off the track of licenses, didn't I?  But I can't help but wonder why every guy's sausage needs to be in a digital database.  Maybe for dating service sites?  Hell, yeah!  Just what every normal woman of a sausage fest for guys she wants to get serious about.