Saturday, April 13, 2013

Unpacking the dishes

I stopped unpacking the dishes for a moment and looked around the kitchen, my kitchen, I still couldn't believe it.  Mike had finally purchased us a house of our own, he made good on his promise to me.  It wasn't that I didn't believe he would, but I think this house is a way of making things up to me. 

 The previous relationship I had before meeting Mike, left me not really sure I could ever trust men again. 

But we just aren't as intimate these days as we were 12 years ago when we first met.  I convinced myself that I didn't miss the sex so awfully much.  Mike is attentive, sweet and tells me he loves me every day we are together, but he just has no interest in sex anymore.  I have my battery operated friend but somehow it's not the same as a warm, erotic touch from a man. 

 I know I'm 35 and he's 60, but no one told me sex drive wanes when guys get older. I couldn't help but laugh out loud about his chosen profession, especially given his disinterest in sex these days.  He's half owner of an erotic film making company. 

Mike is the Midwest Porn King, or so the big newspapers and the television news have called him. 

How ironic. The very thing he's not interested in in his real life, has made him rich in the fantasy world

Looking around, I couldn't help thinking how, just a few years ago, we'd be making love on the big counter in this kitchen.The thought of that made me feel a bit sad.  I love Mike, but without sex, well, it's just been a long time since I have felt sexy, wanted, sensual or very pretty.  I also felt a bit guilty for thinking like this. Mike is away on a business trip for two weeks, so I'm left here, alone, to put away most of our things that the movers just dropped off for us. 

I didn't mind, this big house will become a bed and breakfast once we are settled in.  Mike figured it would be a nice business for me, maybe a distraction to keep me busy and my mind off the reality of our marriage.  I decided to stop for a moment and look around the house.  It's a beautiful house, but a few things do need fixing.  Mike likes to fix stuff at home, but right now, he is away because he has to make sure the business is running smoothly.

 I have always wanted a big, beautiful house, but not a mansion,, I didn't want it to be vulgar. It's the kind of house where I can do my own housework and be the domestic goddess' I always wanted to be.  This one is great and we plan to expand it a little more. 

Mike had wanted to build one on the ocean, but I was worried about hurricanes, so we compromised and decided on a nice, secluded old Victorian on the great lake in Ohio.  

I wandered towards the dining area of the house to look out the patio doors at the back, the lake was stunningly lovely today, but inside was hot, sultry, the kind of day where the humidity was thick and you worked up a sweat walking across the room.  Mike had promised me a pool but right now, at this moment, I'll just be happy to have the central air fixed.