Unpacking the dishes

I stopped unpacking the dishes for a moment and looked around the kitchen, my kitchen, I still couldn't believe it.  Mike had finally purchased us a house of our own, he made good on his promise to me.  It wasn't that I didn't believe he would, but I think this house is a way of making things up to me. 

 The previous relationship I had before meeting Mike, left me not really sure I could ever trust men again. 

But we just aren't as intimate these days as we were 12 years ago when we first met.  I convinced myself that I didn't miss the sex so awfully much.  Mike is attentive, sweet and tells me he loves me every day we are together, but he just has no interest in sex anymore.  I have my battery operated friend but somehow it's not the same as a warm, erotic touch from a man. 

 I know I'm 35 and he's 60, but no one told me sex drive wanes when guys get older. I couldn't help but laugh out loud about his chosen profession, especially given his disinterest in sex these days.  He's half owner of an erotic film making company. 

Mike is the Midwest Porn King, or so the big newspapers and the television news have called him. 

How ironic. The very thing he's not interested in in his real life, has made him rich in the fantasy world

Looking around, I couldn't help thinking how, just a few years ago, we'd be making love on the big counter in this kitchen.The thought of that made me feel a bit sad.  I love Mike, but without sex, well, it's just been a long time since I have felt sexy, wanted, sensual or very pretty.  I also felt a bit guilty for thinking like this. Mike is away on a business trip for two weeks, so I'm left here, alone, to put away most of our things that the movers just dropped off for us. 

I didn't mind, this big house will become a bed and breakfast once we are settled in.  Mike figured it would be a nice business for me, maybe a distraction to keep me busy and my mind off the reality of our marriage.  I decided to stop for a moment and look around the house.  It's a beautiful house, but a few things do need fixing.  Mike likes to fix stuff at home, but right now, he is away because he has to make sure the business is running smoothly.

 I have always wanted a big, beautiful house, but not a mansion,, I didn't want it to be vulgar. It's the kind of house where I can do my own housework and be the domestic goddess' I always wanted to be.  This one is great and we plan to expand it a little more. 

Mike had wanted to build one on the ocean, but I was worried about hurricanes, so we compromised and decided on a nice, secluded old Victorian on the great lake in Ohio.  

I wandered towards the dining area of the house to look out the patio doors at the back, the lake was stunningly lovely today, but inside was hot, sultry, the kind of day where the humidity was thick and you worked up a sweat walking across the room.  Mike had promised me a pool but right now, at this moment, I'll just be happy to have the central air fixed. 

 

Where's the logic?

We have been bombarded with pictures, news articles and opinions on social media sites of the recent shooting of innocent kids.  No, I cannot imagine the horror those parents, that school or the town is experiencing.  It must be absolutely horrible.

In 2006, Amish children in Pennsylvania were killed by a gunman who entered their school and also opened fire.  I have to be honest here and say, I really didn't see a whole lot of debate then about gun control.  Yet those Amish children are just as precious as any other.

Admittedly these are awful tragedies and many people in America think something should be done.  Are we now, as my Dad used to say: "Closing the barn door after the horse got out?"  Shouldn't something have been done much earlier to prevent such things?  You have heard of prevention, haven't you?

There is much inhumanity going on in the world that breaks my heart as well.  I also cannot imagine being blasted from by bed, in my home, in the middle of the night, in Iraq, by a country holding me accountable for something I never did.  Don't we need impulse control as a country too?

 

 

It seems so very easy to hate a faceless enemy.  Do we make war on innocent children, old people and innocent civilians and just sit by and say nothing?  Why?

There are innocent children, every year, in America, who live with the chance of being killed, every time they step out in their neighborhood streets.  Those kids who face the rain of bullets from drug running thugs who spray bullets in all directions in drive by shootings, killing anyone in their path.  Children murdered, children whose only crime is being poor and having to live in those neighborhoods.  I dare say if this was happening in affluent neighborhoods, there would be an outcry in America such as we have never heard before.

 

America has allowed huge corporations to take over our government, to run it, financially and otherwise.  Nothing gets done except a hatred for 'Americans not on their side' and a division in America that hasn't been seen since our Civil War.  Americans have allowed big businesses to go to other countries, make virtual slaves of workers, just so we can have cheap goods.  Americans have allowed corporations to look like they represent us, as citizens.  Making it look like all fat cat Americans use their people in foreign lands like so much trash.  Then we wonder why other countries would like to see our demise.  I don't know about you, but those companies do not represent me, not now, not ever.   Yet Americans think we should also pick up the tab for corporations lax in paying taxes.  We should pick up the tab for their health care, while we get none and mop up the messes those corporations leave behind, which I suspect is a lot of carnage for us to pay for.

Are we then also going to be willing to absorb the hatred they have instilled in other countries, making it look like we, innocent civilians, are backing the corporations?  America needs to think long and hard on that last question.