Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I wish my mom had told me

I was just listening to the Bob and Tom Show on the radio today (I know, now I'm retired I agree I have too much time on my hands).  There was a comedian on the show, telling how he has five kids.  I have five kids, I don't know why I've never been invited to that show.  I emailed them about this oversight, but I am not sure if I'll get any reply.

Five kids sounds like a lot...........but isn't...............Okay.......so that statement has to come from those of us who have five kids.  It really is a lot of kids........no denying it.

There is nothing in this world that can ever prepare you for five kids.  When I was a little girl, my favorite doll was a Betsy Wetsy doll I got for my birthday when I was 9 or so.  That doll drank water, shed tears and wet her pants.  We didn't have the dolls, like today, that cry, poop, eat and never shut up crying until their needs are met.  Those don't really help any either because with some babies, their needs seem to never be met.  No matter what you do to help them.

Oh, Betsy, you should have taught me better!

The oldest three kids were close enough in age that they rode bikes together and did many things together.  Each had a bike and one bike got broken, the chain came off, the thing wouldn't steer and no brakes.

The oldest kid, a boy, decided to simply tow the two girls on that broken bike, using his bike that was not broken.  Well, after about 20 minutes, they came limping home, the girls with gravel in their knees, blood galore and a twisted tire on the broken bike.  That is the moment when a parent realizes that everything you tried to teach them didn't sink in.

Towing a broken bike on a gravel road, a road that may as well have been covered with marbles, and asking my son: "When towing a bike, didn't it seem odd to you that the girls were passing you, the one who is supposed to be providing towing power?"  It was painfully (for them not me) apparent that he did not.

So you also realize that the 'common sense' your own mom drummed into your head, is not so 'common' after all.  In those days we did not have to place helmets on the children's heads when riding a bike, hell, we didn't even have seat belts or car seats for infants.  I recall driving around in a convertible, top down, with my baby laying on the seat next to me.  I shudder to think about the possibilities of that poor kid bouncing out onto the pavement.  She never did.  Luck was on my side. 

But ya know, not one thing prepares us, as little girls for any kids, much less five of them.  I guess celebrities just do not know this.  Gee, I never had the money to hire a nanny like celebrities probably do either. But, somehow, we all survived.