Is five kids too many?

My biological mom in front, four kids and my Hippie Yippie days

This is about kids, lots of em.  I'm really glad the Duggars came along on TV, if for nothing else, to make me feel better.  I can honestly say I didn't have 19 or 20 of those little bugger Duggars.  Hey, ya get that 'good feeling' where ever you can in this lifetime.

How did I do it?  How did I keep my sanity?  Damned if I know. I guess you can say I raised some free range kids.  I don't recall a whole lot of punishments (although my oldest daughter seems to remember each and every single one of her punishments) but I honestly do not have such a vivid memory as hers.

They all helped, mostly, sometimes, with chores and such.  Speaking of the eldest girl though, I remember she went through a neat freak phase, at 11, again at 19, again at 25 and by 35 I notice it has tapered off a bit.  She used to love cleaning her room, everything in its place, then she would remind me how I needed to crack the whip on the others to clean their rooms.  She found great joy in cleaning the living room and kitchen sometimes too.  She would grab a sponge or dust cloth and shine everything, all the while lecturing us about being pigs that she had to put up with.  I used to laugh and smile and think how the poor other kids were going to be filthy and live in pig sties when they grew up.  I haven't seen any of mine on Hoarders yet, so I guess one person's filth is another person's normal.

I always grew a big vegetable garden and recently my youngest daughter recalled how those fresh vegetables, always tasted so good.  

I wasn't the perfect parent, but guess what, I have met many who were not either.  So as far as being an expert in imperfect parenting, I guess I pretty much was.  Yeah for me!

We didn't have all the video games that so many kids play now, but we did have a kind of Lego logic going on.  I remember my kids talking to Legos, to their favorite dolls and even to toy graders in the dirt.  These days some psychologist would tell me there is something wrong with talking to inanimate objects, but I don't think so.

In the summer, my kids were allowed to be just kids.  No summer camp, no structured junk, just live, use their imaginations and be themselves.  Those were the days.

Now I think about it, maybe I did discipline the kids once in a while.  When my oldest son was in the Army Reserves, he said he was asked by his DI: "Am I being too harsh Kid?"  It was, of course a rhetorical question.  My son told me he replied: "Naw, I have a mom who could put you to shame."  I'm still wondering if that was a good thing or not.  I let it slide since I would never meet that DI in person anyway.  


Happy Mothers Day to one and all!

Just talkin

Posting a story that, I thought was good, what in hell do I know, I ask myself since then. 

 So never knowing what anyone wants to read at this point, I am just going to ramble, to talk, like you are at my table having coffee with me.

I am cheeky enough today to post my funky pictures I created from a cool program on the Internet.  No frills, no catchy famous people.

Recently I visited my brother, whom I hadn't seen in about 27 years.  Long time between visits you could say.  Go ahead, say it. 

 We had a very nice visit and I was chatting often with my niece before the visit.  Now it amazes me when people send "Friend request" on Facebook.  You accept the request, then, pow! They hardly ever talk to you anymore. Conversations with my niece pretty much stopped after the visit.  My perfume, soap, deoderant?   OK

Recently a person whom I grew up with and once was a close friend to, her husband died.  I knew he had been sick and we are 'friends' on FB too. Well no one answered my inquiries about how he was doing, next thing I know he passed away.  OK

I never know what makes people annoyed so if I have offended anyone, I was not aware of it.

Why did my family (brothers and sisters) drift apart in the first place?  Well I got divorced and I imagine those, friends and family, who have good marriages, just steer clear of those divorced people.  I spent my divorced years on my own, except for one friend I made when single.  She helped me a lot, she too was a single mom and so she didn't worry that divorce or singleness might rub off on her I guess.

Sit down, have some coffee

I didn't see 'family' the entire time I was divorced, struggling and living alone, but I don't hold a grudge.  They have lives and were very busy I'm sure.  So along comes FB and if I am not acknowledging some life changes, I guess I have offended though I didn't mean to.  I never know what to say to people in crisis.  Nothing is going to make their crisis go away so I am not always sure what the right words are.  Not a judgement call, simply my observation.  

Just talkin about every day things in life. 

Religion what is it

I grew up in a small town and my household was pretty conservative.  My Mom and Dad 'liked Ike', didn't fully trust President Kennedy, after all, he was Catholic and I was kind of raised as a Presbyterian.  

I didn't grow up in the part of America known as the Bible Belt, but I lived in the part where religion did get shoved down your throat, plenty.  My parents believed in spankings and I felt the sting of the lilac bush's branch often.  I was a wild child and willful, so my parents said anyway, so I'd get a yard stick and a good old fashioned belt when needed.

That religion part of our lives always baffled me. 

 For years we were Presbyterian, until the only Presbyterian church in our small town closed due to lack of a minister.  After that, my Mom announced we 'would now be attending the Methodist church.'  It mystified me how religions could be so interchangeable but Methodists we became.  I always, there after, felt like an 'adopted' Methodist.  After all, those faithful Methodists had been attending the church forever.  

One of the things I now had to do, was attend the Methodist summer Bible school.  I hated that two weeks every summer with a passion.  Those 'popular, Methodist' girls all had a small group and I was that damned Presbyterian outcast.  I guess I was a bastard in their church as far as they were concerned.  They picked on me something wicked and I was not impressed with how 'Christian' those little bitches were.

We also had a Baptist church in town and I ended up marrying one of those Baptists.  He turned out to be a rat bastard, so I found out Baptists weren't great and wonderful either.  I guess Baptists believed in capital punishment too, and the rat bastard apparently believed in it for his wife too.

One little girl, in my third grade class, was the daughter of the Methodist minister.  I remember saying: "Oh, my god" once on the playground and that girl smacked my face.  She promptly told me I was taking the lord's name in vain.  Well, how in hell did I know this in third grade?  She was such a stodgie little girl, wearing fancy dresses and never uttering a curse word in her entire little life.

Here I am, an adult, still wondering: "Religion, what is it?"
  

I wish my mom had told me

I was just listening to the Bob and Tom Show on the radio today (I know, now I'm retired I agree I have too much time on my hands).  There was a comedian on the show, telling how he has five kids.  I have five kids, I don't know why I've never been invited to that show.  I emailed them about this oversight, but I am not sure if I'll get any reply.

Five kids sounds like a lot...........but isn't...............Okay.......so that statement has to come from those of us who have five kids.  It really is a lot of kids........no denying it.

There is nothing in this world that can ever prepare you for five kids.  When I was a little girl, my favorite doll was a Betsy Wetsy doll I got for my birthday when I was 9 or so.  That doll drank water, shed tears and wet her pants.  We didn't have the dolls, like today, that cry, poop, eat and never shut up crying until their needs are met.  Those don't really help any either because with some babies, their needs seem to never be met.  No matter what you do to help them.

Oh, Betsy, you should have taught me better!

The oldest three kids were close enough in age that they rode bikes together and did many things together.  Each had a bike and one bike got broken, the chain came off, the thing wouldn't steer and no brakes.

The oldest kid, a boy, decided to simply tow the two girls on that broken bike, using his bike that was not broken.  Well, after about 20 minutes, they came limping home, the girls with gravel in their knees, blood galore and a twisted tire on the broken bike.  That is the moment when a parent realizes that everything you tried to teach them didn't sink in.

Towing a broken bike on a gravel road, a road that may as well have been covered with marbles, and asking my son: "When towing a bike, didn't it seem odd to you that the girls were passing you, the one who is supposed to be providing towing power?"  It was painfully (for them not me) apparent that he did not.

So you also realize that the 'common sense' your own mom drummed into your head, is not so 'common' after all.  In those days we did not have to place helmets on the children's heads when riding a bike, hell, we didn't even have seat belts or car seats for infants.  I recall driving around in a convertible, top down, with my baby laying on the seat next to me.  I shudder to think about the possibilities of that poor kid bouncing out onto the pavement.  She never did.  Luck was on my side. 

But ya know, not one thing prepares us, as little girls for any kids, much less five of them.  I guess celebrities just do not know this.  Gee, I never had the money to hire a nanny like celebrities probably do either. But, somehow, we all survived.